The Outside as Mirrors

Perception is a mirror, not a fact. And what I look on is my state of mind, reflected outward. —A Course in Miracles

To succeed in your journey to the center of your heart, it helps to fully understand the terrain on your path. We’ve seen that vibrations reverberate like a drum within your body,sending out an emotionalsignalso that you can pay attention and then respond and release any slower or unsupportive belief energies. At first, these signals might make you stumble, but there is really only one thing that will actually stop you from going forward, and that is closing your eyes or going unconscious. Even when you are not looking, the path to the center of your heart is always there. Walking that path is just a matter of learning how to move forward, eyes open,so that you won’tstray from your path or find yourself stuck.

On your journey, you are given a feedback system, a mirror that lets you see what is going on inside of you. Theconcept of the world being a mirror for self-reflection is often misunderstood. When people or situations appear in our lives, they provide us with experiences in which our beliefs and emotions emerge into our conscious awareness. In the Talmud, a central text of mainstream Judaism, it is written: ―We do notsee things as they are, we see things as we are.‖ 6 In other words, the reactions or responses you have to experiences that happen outside of you are your mirror or feedback system, assisting you to become aware of the beliefs and emotions you carry within.

Often, these beliefs and emotions are so familiar to us that we aren’t aware of them. As we look out upon the world, the people and situations we encounter hold up a mirror for us. For example, if a troubled person on the street comes over and yells at me, the mirror is not telling me that I am a troubled person inside. However, whether I respond to this yelling person by becoming angry, frightened, sad, indifferent and so on, allows me to view my response and show me something about myself. As I reflect upon my beliefs and emotions, I can use the information to connect with my inner self, respond compassionately to my self, and then correct or release whatever belief is keeping me from peace. Through this process, I then take another step deeper into my own heart.

The closer the relationship we have with a person the less likely we can avoid the reflection. Several years ago, I heard an amusing statement from a client who had heard it from someone at a Twelve-Step Program meeting. She said, ―Getting into a relationship islike putting Miracle-Gro®on your character defects.‖ Allrelationships have the potential to ―pull up‖ or ―trigger‖ our beliefs and emotions into our consciousness. Our closer and more intimate relationships provide us the greatest potential for growth. The universe abundantly provides us with mirrors to use for our healing, growth and change.

Living in a cave or shielding your self from different experiences can lead to feeling quite content and be unaware of unresolved emotions that lie below the surface. When people set their lives up with safe routines and limited exposure to new experiences, they can be caught off-guard when they start a new job or a new relationship and find themselves experiencing uncomfortable, unresolved beliefs and emotions of which they were unaware.

The challenge is to not blame the outside world and other people for our emotions but to understand that our reactions come from within. It always seems easier to say, ―He orshe made me feel the way I do,‖ rather than to look at emotions as messages from inside, from our inner self.

No matter whether your mirroring encounters are casual or close, regardlessif your experiences are neworrepetitive, until you become conscious of what you are feeling, you cannot take the propersteps necessary to correct beliefsthat are causing you emotional pain. In Chapter 6, titled ―The Purpose of Pain,‖ we will look at specific pain-inducing beliefs and emotions, talk about what they are reflecting for you, and learn how to correct them.

Consciousness is the first step to change, and holding a judgment is what will keep you from creating that change. Dr. Phil McGraw, host of the Dr. Phil television series, often says, ―You can’t heal what you can’t feel.‖

We have the mirror, yet sometimes we don’t want to look at it because we will judge ourselves for having certain beliefs and emotions. Judgments can lead to very uncomfortable feelings of anger, shame and guilt. We need to build our strength to challenge our judgmental beliefs so that we can correct or change what we need to correct or change and move more powerfully toward the center of our heart.

Let’s look at this example to explore how to do that: Let’s say a teenager named ―John‖ was raised, since birth, in a community and with parents who held racist beliefs. Because these beliefs were seen as true by his parents, his  neighbors and friends, John isn’t aware that his beliefs are racist. Then, he goes away to college where he begins to make new friends who do notshare his beliefs about racial differences. At first, he starts to pull away from them but soon realizes that he does not want to lose his friends. He looks at his uncomfortable feelings and realizes that maybe his long-held beliefs are incorrect. With this consciousness, John now has the opportunity to find compassionate understanding for himself as someone who was raised to believe a certain way and can now choose to re-evaluate his belief system. If John does not judge himself for believing what he had been taught as a child, he will not need to deny orsuppress his old beliefs and he will be able to engage his power to choose his own new beliefs.

The mirrors into which you can choose to look are an important part of your self-loving support system, helping you to change disempowering beliefs. Consciousness is the step needed for you to advance on your journey, and judgment is what can create the pain and discomfort that can keep you from becoming conscious and taking that next step toward healing. Compassionate understanding is the antidote to judgment that will help you challenge your judgmental beliefs. Above all, remember that the mirrors presented to you are your allies and that this level of self-discovery is available for you at any time.