Gaining Love by Releasing Judgment

To offer love, we must know, in our hearts, what love is. If we find we are unable to offer love, we must look within, with a compassionate heart, so that we can uncover and change the beliefs that are in our way. It is in truly loving ourselves that we can truly love others.

As a society of people, we have slipped far from the center of our hearts. You are sure to meet people who don’t know how to be sensitive to others, and people who don’t know how to be open-hearted and sensitive to the people who haven’t been sensitive to them. These are the people who keep the cycle of insensitivity running. It will take a lot of time, starting with a nonjudgmental, heart-oriented system of consequences for our youngest citizens, before this will be realized on a large scale. In the meantime, you can move beyond your judgments by becoming conscious of your judgments and questioning them

As individuals, we can set asideour fear of being judged by others. This fear is only as strong as the amount of judgment we hold toward ourselves. Facing our judgments is the biggest and scariest challenge on our path to the center of our heart. To be a spiritual warrior, we need to face our judgments—our ―shadow self,‖ our ―demons‖— and then embrace them with compassionate understanding.

Compassion is a component of love, and love is truly the only releaser, the only healer. 

The loving words of poet and spiritual teacher, Hafiz expresses whatI, too, wish deeply inmy heart for everyone, ―Fear is the cheapest room in the house. I would like to see you living in better conditions.‖

Theway to release yourselffromyourlearned judgments is to realize and remember that you are stronger than any of your beliefs, any of your judgments. Yes, you have beliefs, but you are not your beliefs, rather, you are the power behind them. Judgmental beliefs are like the wolves fighting inside of you; the belief that wins is the one you feed, the one you give your power to

Though your beliefs feel real and might scare you, you must bring the belief firmly into your consciousness and question it—even if questioning it will have you thinking differently than those around you.

History is rife with examples. In fact, every new invention and every great human accomplishment has defied previously held beliefs. The Wright Brothers, for example, would never have gotten their ―flying machine‖ off the ground if they had been swayed by the laughter and disbelief of those around them. On your path to the center of your heart, you will discover how truly powerful you are, how you can choose the beliefs you want and how you can discard the ones you don’t want. 

You change your beliefs by:

1. Deciding, in your heart, that you deserve a happier and more peaceful life than the one you’ve been experiencing. 

2. Choosing to become conscious of the beliefs that are holding you back from having this happier and more peaceful life.

3. Sincerely and thoroughly questioning those beliefs.

4. Choosing, instead, beliefs about your self that will support you in having a happier and more peaceful life.

5. Providing proofs for your new beliefs. This means that once you’ve chosen the belief, look for proofs of their truth. For example, if I were to choose the new belief, ―I am capable of creating more friends,‖ I can acknowledge all the qualities I have to offer as a friend and I can remember how I’ve made friends in the past

6. Finding support for Step 5 if you are having difficulty. This means asking close friends, relatives or co-workers to help you find proofs for your newly chosen beliefs.

On your path to the center of your heart, yourjudgmental beliefs can be boulders that block your way, but you are not a victim to these blockages. When you recognize that they are in the way of you being open-hearted and loving to yourself or others, you will also see that you have the power to remove them by changing your beliefs. As you travel your path, the terrain will become easier and more serene because you will have more peace in your heart and less conflict from the mirrors that your world holds up for you to see.

The truth is that you are innocent. When you fully, deeply believe that, not just in your thoughts but in the deepest recesses of your body/mind, you will walk in peace and be a light unto the world! The journey to the center of your heart is the journey to the knowledge of your innocence.

As you travel your path, you will see not only your innocent heart but the innocent heart of every being. You willrecognize the mistaken self-identity that causes people to behave insensitively. You will understand pain, even when it’s buried deep inside. And you will support others and yourself with kindness and compassion. You will adopt the wisdom of Hafiz, who wrote: ―I wish I could show you when you are lonely or in the darkness the astonishing light of your own being.‖ 

As you shed your judgments and face your paininducing, mistaken beliefs, the path truly gets easier. On your way to awakening, you become more peaceful, more accepting, healthier and happier