Judgments and Pain

If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man’s life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility. —Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Judgments are beliefs, the thoughts in which we have developed faith. They are the bottom line cause for all emotional pain. ―Good‖ judgments are as dangerous as ―bad‖ judgments because they help run the engine of judging—and the engine needs to be turned off! Without ―good,‖ there is no ―bad,‖ and vice versa. Judgments must be turned into compassionate understanding.

Judgments also stand firmly in the way of peace. True peace comes from unconditional acceptance of what is, even while you also want to change what is. Judgments, therefore, block unconditional acceptance by making what is "wrong"

You might have heard the expression, ―What you resist persists.‖ This is true because when we focus our energy on what we don’t want, we are actually focusing on what we are resisting and, thus, strengthening it and allowing it to persist. This is illustrated in a wonderful tale about an old Cherokee who is teaching his grandson about life. ―A fight is going on inside me,‖ he says to the boy. "It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil; he is filled with anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego."He continues,"The other is good; he is filled with joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith. The same fight is going on inside you and inside every other person, too." The grandson thinks about this for a minute and then asks, ―Which wolf will win?‖ The old Cherokee simply replies, "The one I feed."

What we focus on is what we strengthen. The Bible suggests that we count our blessings. This is why many people, such as television producer and host Oprah Winfrey, suggest that we keep a daily gratitude journal. It is very important that we consciously choosewhatwe focus on. Whenwe acceptwhat is, unconditionally, we disperse the energy of resistance and allow ourselves the choice to focus on what we do want. Acceptance, paradoxically, enables change.