There is Only Loving Intention

There is nothing—absolutely nothing—that you do that does not have a loving intent. You might be wondering: What about the people who are vengeful? How can they have a loving intent? Let’sstart with the idea that a vengeful person is reacting to feelings of hurt by something someone did, whether real or imagined. At the time the person felt abused, attacked or hurt, they reacted with self-protective anger, which is a very common defensive stance. As we explore the vengeful person’s motives, we will most likely discover that the desire to retaliate is meant to warn, ―Don’t hurt me again. See the consequences it has!‖

Vengefulness is self-protective. Most of the time it is ineffective, illegal and possibly a reaction to paranoid thinking, but its bottom-line intent is self-protection and self-love. If we look deep into the unconscious mind of a serial killer who, let’s say, kills red-headed prostitutes, we’d find a terrorized little boy who was severely hurt by someone he believed to be a red-headed prostitute. The killer controls his painful emotions by burying them in his unconscious mind, but his fear and anger are out of control. He is insanely protecting himself. Until, or if, he is able to face his pain and realize his innocence, he will be twisted in fear and anger, mentally imbalanced and a danger to society.

On your path to peace and happiness, it is extremely important that you offer your self all of the love and understanding you can. Find better ways to behave if you are not happy with your behavior, while not judging the part of you that behaved in the old way. Again, look for how your old beliefs influenced that behavior and how these beliefs came into your life, see that those beliefs were useful in your early environment, and let them go with love and appreciation for the role they once served. The strongest resource you have is your gentleness, and the quickest way to create change is with your patience.

Mary Oliver’s poem ―Love Sorrow‖ 14 suggests that we employ gentleness and patience to do exactly what the title suggests: love sorrow